Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
