so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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