No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We need to feng shui this bitch.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
