so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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