If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
