I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
