So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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