Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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