hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
