Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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