If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
