fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
