Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
home. puking in laundry basket.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
