life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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