I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
