Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize