why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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