this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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