You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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