You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
