He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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