It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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