everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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