The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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