...so i touched it.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
