She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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