I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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