I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
