We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
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I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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