I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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