therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
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I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
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I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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