tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
