I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
