Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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