How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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