Just fell off a train. Bad.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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