That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
