Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I stole a fireplace last night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
