I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
where am i from again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
