Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
