i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
