She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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