You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
