Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  "Monday" is guna come over...

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  but its Thursday?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go

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  (225): "Monday" is guna come over... (1-225): but its Thursday? (225): yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go http://tfl.nu/xdyf
  Replies (5) Good night (1640) Bad night (575)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.

  (1-805): View more from California

  You do realize that you broke up with him, right?

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  (805): I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose. (1-805): You do realize that you broke up with him, right? http://tfl.nu/4u3s
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (2735)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I

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  (516): Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I<3 NY. http://tfl.nu/f30c
  Replies (54) Good night (5133) Bad night (597)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?

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  (203): omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it? http://tfl.nu/nfju
  Replies (18) Good night (773) Bad night (4086)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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  (504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2
  Replies (10) Good night (4077) Bad night (1163)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy

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  (860): drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy http://tfl.nu/cj1r
  Replies (10) Good night (3556) Bad night (1102)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong

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  (216): We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong http://tfl.nu/i4ch
  Replies (15) Good night (1540) Bad night (4469)
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  (714): View more from California

  Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.

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  (714): Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again. http://tfl.nu/2ucs
  Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (2671)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.

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  (207): I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg. http://tfl.nu/2hwi
  Replies (11) Good night (2597) Bad night (893)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just got motor boated by a horse in the street

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  (845): Just got motor boated by a horse in the street http://tfl.nu/nm8s
  Replies (9) Good night (1724) Bad night (919)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.

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  (814): His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place. http://tfl.nu/wrqc
  Replies (13) Good night (649) Bad night (1573)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cute underage boy is in my house.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.

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  (610): Cute underage boy is in my house. (410): OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE. http://tfl.nu/uq1q
  Replies (13) Good night (1799) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.

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  (570): I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight. http://tfl.nu/86fz
  Replies (7) Good night (1003) Bad night (561)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  You're the salmon of the gays...

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  (574): I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual (1-574): You're the salmon of the gays... http://tfl.nu/2l6t
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it

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  (724): My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe. (1-724): I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it http://tfl.nu/uinn
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (360)

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