So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dating After Heartbreak
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock