Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?

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  (310): The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know? http://tfl.nu/ihts
  Replies (7) Good night (1171) Bad night (1820)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?

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  (773): Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home? http://tfl.nu/5b5c
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (905)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought she had blonde hair

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, Gonorrhea actually

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  (610): I thought she had blonde hair (302): No, Gonorrhea actually http://tfl.nu/3gym
  Replies (6) Good night (653) Bad night (1640)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off

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  (506): haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off http://tfl.nu/1xv0
  Replies (2) Good night (4441) Bad night (670)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom

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  (717): Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom http://tfl.nu/cpi6
  Replies (46) Good night (739) Bad night (9076)
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  (516): View more from New York

  he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.

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  (516): he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor. http://tfl.nu/s1qd
  Replies (22) Good night (4950) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Well it worked

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Not the point

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  (330): The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind (1-330): Well it worked (330): Not the point http://tfl.nu/mxs7
  Replies (21) Good night (6081) Bad night (986)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

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  (615): Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can. http://tfl.nu/eowl
  Replies (16) Good night (5464) Bad night (1190)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night

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  (480): Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night http://tfl.nu/495y
  Replies (7) Good night (1824) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test

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  (608): and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test http://tfl.nu/8oo5
  Replies (14) Good night (3225) Bad night (1261)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?

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  (404): He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair? http://tfl.nu/ho1p
  Replies (20) Good night (1021) Bad night (2638)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.

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  (803): I don't trust myself to shower and not drown. http://tfl.nu/sha0
  Replies (3) Good night (386) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.

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  (209): Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/nr87
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.

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  (203): I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left. http://tfl.nu/swl5
  Replies (6) Good night (265) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.

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  (303): So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities. http://tfl.nu/dlp3
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (182)

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