Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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  (717): apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes http://tfl.nu/cx0j
  Replies (6) Good night (516) Bad night (2646)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.

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  (954): Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube. http://tfl.nu/0ubi
  Replies (38) Good night (636) Bad night (4655)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

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  (480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out. http://tfl.nu/rr3m
  Replies (91) Good night (4223) Bad night (16397)
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  (408): View more from California

  How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?

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  (408): How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...? http://tfl.nu/cucy
  Replies (15) Good night (6611) Bad night (845)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song

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  (740): Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song http://tfl.nu/pqc4
  Replies (20) Good night (4026) Bad night (1104)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.

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  (763): Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking. http://tfl.nu/53g7
  Replies (9) Good night (3318) Bad night (981)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka

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  (630): you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka http://tfl.nu/av0z
  Replies (8) Good night (1425) Bad night (2189)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

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  (719): She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance. http://tfl.nu/lni2
  Replies (2) Good night (1414) Bad night (580)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?

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  (859): I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!? http://tfl.nu/cr9e
  Replies (6) Good night (551) Bad night (1346)
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  (661): View more from California

  Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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  (661): Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode. http://tfl.nu/t52r
  Replies (18) Good night (675) Bad night (1455)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart

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  (509): Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart http://tfl.nu/gb8n
  Replies (6) Good night (1547) Bad night (1151)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.

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  (817): Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots. http://tfl.nu/sx8s
  Replies (6) Good night (362) Bad night (1394)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy

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  (254): The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy http://tfl.nu/x76r
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (793)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.

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  (519): I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person. http://tfl.nu/mw9z
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (212)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?

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  (703): Is it possible to break your brain with drugs? http://tfl.nu/145b
  Replies (7) Good night (251) Bad night (395)

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