I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.