moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.