I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
