Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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