I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize