Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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