Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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