Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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