do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
