She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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