my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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