Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
