did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
